Cousins
by John Forster & Tom Chapin
1990 Limousine Music Co. & The Last Music Co. (ASCAP)

The cousins are coming!
They pulled into the driveway like a frigate dropping sail.
And out came Butch and Mike and Bill and Ben and Baby Gail.
Uncle Hugh looked hassled but Aunt Bess was all aglow.
"Hello!" "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Hi." "Yo!"
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.
Bedlam, mayhem, noise, noise, noise.
Blow up the air mattresses, hide the breakable toys.
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.

We sat in the basement playing cards, all quiet and discreet
'Til Mikey peeked at Billy's hand and Billy said, "You cheat!"
"I don't!" "You do!" "Did not!" "He did!" Then we heard Grandpa say,
"I've had about enough of this, I'm taking the cards away."

Then Butchie went and fell on a rake and bled all over the floor.
They stitched him up and gave him a shot and Butchie was back for more.
He ate a hero sandwich and he drank a quart of punch.
Then he disobeyed the Doctor and went swimming after lunch.
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.
Bedlam, mayhem, noise, noise, noise.
Blow up the air mattresses, hide the breakable toys.
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.

Late that night we bedded down and began the pillow fight
That broke the big aquarium, the mirror and the light.
We swept the glass and saved the fish and put 'em in the john.
Well, no one knows what happened but next morning they were gone.

And then at breakfast Baby Gail went backward in her chair.
"Mikey pushed me!" "Wasn't me." "Was!" "Was not, I swear!"
Then Mikey threw a muffin, hitting Billy on the bean,
'Twas the most gigantic food fight this world has ever seen.
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.
Bedlam, mayhem, noise, noise, noise.
Blow up the air mattresses, hide the breakable toys.
Cousins, cousins. Here come the boys.

Then Uncle Hugh said, "Time to go. We gotta get out of here."
It took them half the afternoon to pack up all their gear.
And when they piled into the car Aunt Bess was full of woe.
"Bye-bye." "So long." "See ya." "Bye." "Bye-bye." "Bye." "Yo!"
Cousins, cousins. There go the boys.
Bedlam, mayhem, noise, noise, noise.
My Mom sat down and gave a sigh and said to me, "You know,
I love to see your cousins come, I love to see 'em go."
Cousins, cousins. There go the boys.
Bedlam, mayhem, noise, noise, noise.


This song appears on Tom Chapin's Mother Earth CD.
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